Making a Difference

I know it has been a long time since I have last updated. You could say my life has been pretty busy with everything from grading math tests to writing lesson plans to attending Science Night. Even more than that, however, is the fact that I am emotionally exhausted. I think this is a good thing because I think it means that I am giving a lot of my energy to something worthwhile? Without getting into specifics, I will just say that my student teaching experience has been an amazing ride. There have been moments where the students were teaching me more about what it means to be a teacher than I have ever learned in my classes and times when they would say snide remarks to me after they got in trouble. All of that I would have expected. What I didn’t expect were the many challenges that have come up. As I believe I wrote earlier, before my student teaching even started I prayed that I would be put in a class where God could use me. I prayed that He would give me the students that He wanted me to come into contact with. You see, I really believe that each of us really has a mission in our life and are called to service, and I believe that we can do that anywhere in any job. So, I knew being with a group of students for sixteen weeks would be another opportunity. I know God answers prayers, but I honestly was not expecting Him to answer my request to be used in such a way as He has. Every day new challenges come up. Every day brings forth something different situations ; extreme situations that I never thought I would experience before. This past week, being emotionally drained and feeling like just giving up trying to be some sort of example to these kids, I remembered how I asked God to use me. I smiled a little because I knew He granted my prayer and I knew He must be laughing at my surprise to all of my situations. Then I laughed too because I asked for it and knew that this is right where I am supposed to be. Never again will I underestimate God’s ability to use people in any situation. Realizing this gave me more confidence that God must trust me somewhat, but that still didn’t help me with my constant question of, “Am I really making any sort of difference?” Some days feels like I am just going from one challenge to the next with no air to breathe and no sign of growth. I will admit that sometimes I have to ask myself, “What’s the point?” A week ago, I read to my students the little story about the man on the beach with the star fish and gave them a 2 minute speech about how we can all make a difference no matter who we are. On top of that, I gave each of them a sand dollar that I collected in Florida with “Make a Difference” painted on each of them. I thought this would be great and would totally change all of their lives. Hah. In the middle of my ‘inspirational’ speech, a kid yelled out, “Why are you reading this to us, anyway?” Then, after I passed out the sand dollars a couple kids complained that I painted on them and they just wanted a clean one. And, I could count on one hand how many kids told me thank you – 2 students. I think you could say I felt like I made no difference that day. When I got home that night, I chatted with my mom about my disappointments in feeling like I am not making any sort of difference. As we talked she told me that even if one student was impacted by my small gift, then I did my job. She told me to go re-read the very story I gave to my students. I would like to share the story with you. It is simple, but so true. We can only change the world one person at a time.

The Starfish StoryOriginal Story by: Loren Eisley One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean. Approaching the boy, he asked, “What are you doing?” The youth replied, “Throwing starfish back into the ocean. The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.” “Son,” the man said, “don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can’t make a difference!” After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said…”I made a difference for that one.”